No Matter What
by baby jen
Summary: One year after her marriage, Kana's memories are returned to her in a freak accident, just as Hatori is finally learning to let go and to love another...
1. Chapter 1

NB: DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the fruits basket's characters. (But I do have Hatori tied up in the basement, hehe…Yeah right, I wish! ) Only the story is mine (my apologies if anyone has come up with similar themes, I honestly didn't poach!) Anyways, on with the story…

Chapter One

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It was already five minutes past midnight when Kana finally made it home after a long day's work at the hospital. Having just graduated medical school the previous summer, she had begun an internship in emergency medicine at the local hospital. It was hard work, and harder hours, but Kana loved her work – and she eagerly awaited the day when she would finally up set her own private family practice.

Yes, ever since the first day she had worked as an assistant to her distant cousin -doctor Hatori Sohma - years before, Kana had known that it was her destiny to become a doctor, and she would do whatever it took to be even half as good a physician as Hatori.

As she crept quietly into her kitchen, so as not to wake her sleping husband, Kana giggled to herself as she remembered the crush she had had on said Hatori Sohma. His dark hair, his eyes that were the colour pond water, his willowy frame, his deep, rich voice that carried an undertone of sensuality that she was quite certain the good doctor himself was unaware of…well, what red-blooded healthy woman wouldn't have had the hots for Hatori Sohma?

"Kana?"

Kana jumped slightly at the voice behind her, nearly dropping the banana she had begun to peel. As she spun around, she found herself firmly wrapped in the strong arms of her husband's embrace.

"Keiske!" she exclaimed, laughing at her own jumpiness. "Darling, why are you still awake? Don't you have court early in the morning tomorrow?

The man loosened his grip on his adorably flustered young wife, pulling back so he could frame her face with his hands. "I wanted to wish my beautiful wife a happy anniversary." Keiske smiled, and the warmth of it spread to his sea coloured eyes.

Kana tilted her head in confusion. "But our anniversary isn't until tomorrow."

Keiske laughed. "Darling, it's past midnight. Tomorrow's already here!"

Kana grinned. "Well, in that case…" Pulling his face towards her, Kana pressed her lips against Keiske's. "Happy first anniversary, my beautiful husband!" giggled Kana, as she ran her fingers through Keiske's sandy coloured hair.

Keiske tenderly brushed the hair away from her face, as he whispered in response. "Happy Anniversay, my beautiful wife." After kissing one more time, the young couple pulled reluctantly away. As the clock struck at a quarter past twelve Keiske grinned devilishly and took his wife's hand. "Well, seeing as it IS our anniversary my love…"

Kana laughed. "Really, darling it's past midnight, you have court in the morning and I'm expected back at the hospital in less than eight hours!"

At the sight of Keiske's comically puppy dog expression, Kana stifled a giggle. Well, she mused, it was technically her anniversary, surely they were both entitled to a little…recreational activity.

Then she thought of her work at the hospital – her patients. People relied on her to be alert, they trusted her with their lives. She had no right to be up half the night making mad passionate love to her husband (as they had a tendency to do - whenever their hectic jobs allowed for it!) or at least not when she'd worked a twenty-four hour shift, and was already sleep deprived as it was. She shook her head firmly before she could change her mind.

"No darling, you KNOW we can't. Not tonight." She pressed a kiss in the crook of his neck. "But I promise we can make up for lost time tomorrow night. After all, tomorrow's Friday, so..." She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "We'll just make love ALL weekend!"

Suitably placated, Keiske patted her amiably on her cheek. "That my dear, is a deal. Oral agreements are binding in these kinds of man and wife situations." He planted one last kiss on her lips before winking at her. "I'm a lawyer – I know these things! You coming to bed?…to sleep?" he added hastily, at the mock disapproval etched across his wife's face.

"In a little while darling, I'm famished so I'm just going to grab a quick bit to eat." Kana replied as she reached for a loaf of bread.

Keiske chuckled. "Uh oh, you're having one of your weird midnight snacks again, aren't you?"

"There's nothing weird about banana and honey on toast!" Kana said defensively.

"Darling, it's right up there with spreading peanut butter on salad."

"Oooh, peanut butter on salad, there's something to try!"

Kesike shook his head and kissed her cheek. "Don't worry darling, I love you anyway."

Kana sighed happily as she blew her husband a kiss. "I love you too."

As Keiske made his way upstairs and into bed, Kana quickly and skilfully cut two slices of bread and popped them into the toaster. She took the banana, cut it up and put it in a bowl, added a table spoon of honey and began to mash up the mixture together. She was just toying with the idea of adding a spoon of chocolate spread to the mix when she accidentally knocked over the honey jar. As she hastened to clear it up, she managed to cover her hands in the sticky sugary substance. Laughing to herself, she began to wash her hands – silently glad that her some of her more judgmental co-workers at the hospital weren't there to witness her little act of clumsiness. Only then did she realise she'd neglected to switch on the toaster at the mains.

Baka! she mentally scolded herself, I'm running late as it is!

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe the wires were faulty. Maybe it was just one of those things. But Kana forgot to wipe her hands dry before reaching out to switch on the mains.

The bolt of electricity sent shock waves down her body, as she began to shake and convulse before eventually losing consciousness, and collapsing onto the floor.

"Shigure, Ayame, why is it every time I answer the door to either of you I am left regretting my show of hospitality?"

"Now, now Hatori-san – there's no need for such bitterness." Shigure Sohma held his hands up in mock defence against his serious natured cousin, as the madabachi trio sat around sipping sake in Hatori's modestly decorated lounge (well, Shigure and Ayame were sipping sake; Hatori was drinking black coffee and wondering how much more of the afternoon his two goofy cousins were planning to occupy, particularly as – per usual – Hatori was swamped with work).

"Honestly," continued Shigure, "I thought you'd have been pleased to spend the afternoon with your beloved cousins and child hood friends!"

"Precisely, 'Tori-san!" declared Ayame, with a flamboyant gesture of hands, "What other activity could bring you quite so much joy and satisfaction!"

"Having my toe nails ripped off could quite easily be in contention." Hatori retorted dryly.

Ayame feigned heartbreak in response. "'Tor-ee-saaan! How can you speak so harshly to your bestest friend in the whole world? Have you no feelings? See how hurt I am…"

Hatori fought back a smile as Ayame continued on in typical dramatic fashion. He didn't really mind the antics of his two cousins, and in truth they were his best friends. It's just, well…his dry humour was his way of razzing them!

Sensing that Ayame's ranting would probably last some time (after all it normally did!) Shigure leaned forward – sensing this to be his opportunity.

"Seriously, Hatori-kun…are you ok?"

Hatori stared back blankly. "Excuse me?"

Shigure bit his lip. He didn't want to press the subject. If it hadn't occurred to Hatori, then Shigure didn't want to be the one responsible for planting the seed in the young doctor's mind.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter. Say, 'Tori-san, what are you later this evening – would you like to come over to the house and sample some of Tohru-Kun's wonderful cooking? Or perhaps simply sample Tohru-kun?" Shigure winked, living up to his dog-like nature.

Hatori eyed Shigure suspiciously for a moment - Ayame's rambling having become white noise to him some time ago – before it dawned on him. Of course! Hatori cleared his throat. "Shigure, you don't need to worry."

Shigure blinked. "Hatori-san?"

By now, Ayame had finished his self righteous and playful little rant, and he too looked on at Hatori in confusion. "'Tori-san?"

Hatori found himself feeling rather touched at his friends' concern. Of course, it was Kana's first wedding anniversary today. Staring into his cup of coffee, he allowed himself a moment to reflect. Had it already been a year? Yes, he supposed it had. Not wanting to concern either of his cousins with his sudden melancholy mood, Hatori looked over at Shigure. "I appreciate the effort, but I lost Kana long before last year. It's been over for…well, long enough, shall we say? You don't need to worry about me – I'm fine." Hatori put down his cup of coffee and sighed. "Truth is, I'm glad she's found some one to love."

Ayame stood up, wracked with sympathy for his beloved Hatori. "Tori-san, how can you be so understanding – so CALM? If it were me, I could not bear to lie in my bed alone night after night, knowing another man was sleeping next to the one I adored!"

Hatori smiled weakly and fought back another sigh. Ayame meant well…

"Hatori." Shigure adopted his seldom seen and more serious natured side, as he looked kindly over at his cousin. "You're a brave and noble man. And strong too – stronger than any of us. But even you, Hatori-kun, need to be allowed your weaker moments." Shigure rose. "If you are feeling weak tonight, you know you are welcome to borrow strength from us. Besides," Shigure grinned, "Tohru-kun always cooks plenty! Come Aya, let us leave our hard working cousin to his work!"

Hatori saw his two friends to the door, before sitting back down to resume his work. He almost managed to pay attention to it too, at least for an hour or two. Finally, after deciding the reason why he was so unable to concentrate was due to a distinct lack of caffeine, he rose and began to make his way towards the kitchen. He was just about to switch on the kettle when his thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Mayu-chan?"

Mayu stood, slightly duck-legged at Hatori's open front door, trying desperately not to fidget with her long pony-tail. "Konichiwa, Hatori-san!" she managed to blurt out.

Hatori blinked. "Can I…help you?"

"Yes. I mean, no…I just, well…can I come in?"

"Of course," Hatori suddenly found himself uncharacteristically embarrassed at his lack of manners, "Come in."

"Thank you."

Once inside, the two of them stood a few feet apart from each other at a loss with what to say. Mayu was quite certain she heard a cricket harp…

"Mayu?"

"Yes?"

"Can I…get you something to drink?"

"No thanks, I mean…yes, some water…please!"

Hatori smiled despite himself. "Of course."

Three minutes, and one nervously-chugged glass of water later, Mayu realised she had better say what she'd come her to say, or she'd just as well go.

Hatori leaned forward. "Mayu…"

"I should go…"

Again, Hatori blinked. "Ok…"

"No, wait!" Mayu stopped herself just inches from his front door and ordered herself to hold her ground.

Just SAY it…

"Mayu?"

"I wanted to make sure you were OK!" she exclaimed.

There was a deafening silence, followed by the sound of Mayu's sigh, and yet another cricket. Embarrassed beyond belief, Mayu shut her eyes and dropped her head. "It's just…I knew it was Kana's anniversary today and I wanted to make sure you weren't…I mean that you were…well…"

"Mayu-chan?"

Mayu's eyes shot open at the sensation of Hatori's hand on her shoulder. Looking up she found herself staring into his eyes. She recalled that Kana had once mentioned how like pond water they were in colour. To Mayu, they were the colour of perfection…

"Thank you, Mayu-chan. It was kind of you to worry. I'm ok."

Mayu breathed a sigh of relief, whilst also being annoyed with herself for the pang of disappointment she felt when Hatori removed his hand from her shoulder. "I'm glad to hear it, Hatori-san." Despite her best intentions, Mayu began to fidget with her hair. "I should go, it's nearly six and I'm sure you have work to do."

She turned on her heels and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Hatori's voice callout after her.

"Mayu-chan, Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Mayu's heart all but stopped. Had she heard him right? Was this another one of her dreams? Yes they'd eaten lunch together that one time, but that was months ago, and besides it was…

"Mayu-chan?"

"Yes?" she replied, in a voice several octaves higher than normal.

"I'm not a very good cook, but if you don't mind that, I'd like it if you stayed and had dinner with me. Maybe you could help me cook, that way we'd have a meal that's at least half way edible."

Mayu forced herself to calm down, open her now tightly shut eyes and turn around – in that order- before replying. "I…Yes!"

Hatori laughed that rich low laugh that she so adored before he looked at her, smiling. Really smiling. "I'm glad…Mayu."

It was with the heaviest of hearts that Keiske Mikage held a virgil beside his wife's bed in the hospital where she worked. Day after day Kana Mikage was one of the many doctors that worked so ardently to heal and save the lives of every patient that came through their doors.

But today, it was Kana who was the patient.

Keiske's silky mop of sand-coloured hair was dishevelled from the hand that was constantly running through it in frustration. His eyes, that usually sparkled, were dull and bruised from lack of sleep. His heart had almost stopped when he'd found his wife lying unconscious on the kitchen floor the night before. He'd rung for the ambulance while still in a daze, and now – in these last few hours – the daze had subsided, and he was left only with the palpable fear that coursed through his veins.

What if he lost her? What if she didn't wake up?"

He barely noticed the nurses and doctors as they breezed in and out of Kana's room. Many of her colleagues had stopped to share with him words of sympathy, but Keiske had not heard any of it. All he could hear was the voice in his head that continuously screamed Why?

"Mr Mikage?"

Keiske looked up to see the serious face of Kana's supervising resident, doctor Tsukino – the very physician who was now treating her. "Yes?" Keiske replied, in a voice so devoid of hope it was alien to his own ears.

"Her vital signs are steadily increasing. Don't worry, she's going to pull through. In fact, it could be any moment now." Doctor Tsukino tried to reassure the distraught young man, before creeping quietly out of the room.

Keiske nodded, not daring to believe it until he himself could look into his wife's eyes and hear her say his name. Forcing himself to keep it together – to be strong for her sake; he knew it would frighten her to wake up and see him looking so shaken – he made himself take some deep breaths.

Then he closed his eyes, and – as he had been doing for the past seventeen hours - let himself drift back into deep prayer…

"Kei…Keiske?"

His eyes shot open and he squeezed the hand of Kana's that he'd been holding onto with his for dear life. "Darling, my darling – you're…you're awake." He brought her hand to his lips, kissed it twice, then kissed her wrist. "I was so worried…"

Kana looked nervously around the hospital room, recognising immediately where she was. Her eyes were cloudy and her expression was deeply shaken, something that did not go unnoticed by her relieved husband.

"Darling," he said, "Are you okay? Do you remember what happened?"

Kana didn't look at her husband, but only stared up at the ceiling when as she spoke. "Yes…I remember…"

"I'll be right back Kana, I'm just going to fetch the doctor. I'll be right back, don't worry."

Keiske ran out of the room, nearly falling over in his haste. Only then did Kana close her eyes – overcome by the old familiar pain that had found it's way back into her mind and her heart.

Pain that had nothing to do with her accident the night before.

In her mind's eye she saw a picture of herself…and Hatori…on a summer's day, walking through the park…laughing with eachother…saw her self rushing around frantically trying to save the poor little withered sea horse, throwing it comically into a bath tub filled with water…saw Hatori covered in blood, his hand pressed to his eyes…saw herself clinging onto him, crying uncontrollably as she wailed the words 'it's all my fault'… 'it's all my fault'… 'it's all my fault'…

"Yes…" she sighed to herself, "I remember…everything."

To be continued…

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AN: Well, there's the first chapter! Do you want the rest? Please let me know what you think…aw, go on…please review…Pretty please?

Hehe, thanks for your time1 Baby jen xxx


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I own none of the fruits basket characters. In spite of consulting two witch doctors, three genies and wishing on several monkey paws, I still don't own the damn fruits basket characters…  Gutted!

Chapter Two

"Will you pass me the knife?"

"Sorry?" Mayu blinked in confusion.

Hatori pointed towards the chopping knife next to her. They were both of them hard at work in his kitchen, trying to produce an edible offering for dinner. "The knife, I wanted to dice up some tofu for the soup."

"OH!" Mayu could have slapped herself. Why did she have to keep zoning out like that? She was acting like a child. It's just that, she could hardly believe he had invited her to stay for dinner just like that and - well, he'd looked so handsome stood at the kitchen counter, with his sleeves rolled up and his tie loosened. If she imagined hard enough, it was almost as though they were husband and …

GET A GRIP! she mentally ordered herself.

"Mayu, the knife?"

"Huh?"

Hatori chuckled, and leaned over her to reach it himself. When his arm brushed hers, her heart caught in her throat. Maybe staying for dinner wasn't such a good idea…

"Do you like spicy food?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh, um…I guess so, why?"

"Nothing, apparently I have a tendency – according to Shigure – to put a little too much spice into my food sometimes, so I thought I'd best check."

"You like spicy food?"

Hatori cocked an eyebrow. "So it would seem. Why?"

"Nothing," Mayu gushed, "It's just I never thought of you as someone who cared for extra spice." She blushed instantly, panicking. "I mean, not that I think of you in terms of spicy or not. But that's not to say you're boring or anything, on the contrary I actually think you're very interesting…"

"Interesting?"

"Yes. I mean, No!…NO, I mean, I don't think of you, who said that I think of you? I mean that wouldn't be…that is…well…oh hell… "

"Mayu?"

Mayu shook her head from side to side. "What?"

Hatori put the knife down, and walked over to her. "What do you think of me?"

Mayu suddenly realised she was holding her breath, and let it out as slowly as she could. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Hatori was standing so close to her now that she was able to smell the light layer of cologne that he was wearing. As the aroma filled her head, panic filled her heart as he took another step –bringing him even closer.

"I spend so much of my time working, trying to forget…I suppose it's been a long time since I looked at myself and wondered what other people thought of me. Wondered how I look to the rest of the world. Or even cared, for that matter." He sighed now, and turned away. "Most of the time I'm so caught up in my own little world of the Sohmas…I can barely remember what it's like to feel a part of the outside world. But then I don't suppose I ever was part of it…at least, not for long."

"You're talking about Kana, aren't you?"

Hatori turned around, while Mayu- forgetting her own nervousness– continued to speak. "I know how much she meant to you, Hatori-kun. And while I don't really know much about your family, but I know that your obligation to them has kept you from ever leading a normal existence. I guess, when you were with Kana, all of that just…faded into the back ground."

A light smile played across Hatori's lips. "Yes. I guess you could say that." Then his expression saddened. "Of course, it didn't last. But then I don't imagine I was meant to enjoy such things as the love of another. Not for long, anyway."

"Don't say that!" Mayu cried out, despite herself, while Hatori looked up in surprise. "You're a kind and decent man Hatori-kun. And you're brave, and so strong. What you did for Kana, taking the pain of what happened upon yourself- keeping it from her. You protected her, I don't even know how you did it, exactly, but you did – despite the cost to yourself. Even knowing that freeing her would only add that much more pain and sorrow to your own heart…you did it. I don't think I've ever known anyone to be so gallant. I suppose that's how I think of you…as gallant."

Mayu's hand flew up to her mouth, as she realised what she'd said. God, she hadn't meant to let it all out like that – what was she thinking, what must he be thinking?

"Mayu?"

She couldn't bear to look at him, so she kept her eyes shut. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

Now her eyes snapped open, and saw his staring back at her with warmth and gratitude. "You're…you're welcome." She stammered.

Hatori smiled, and gestured to the plates of ready food. "Shall we eat, I'm afraid it might be a bit spicy…"

"That's ok." Mayu stammered. "I like spicy."

Hatori chuckled. "That is fortunate."

As the two of them sat down to eat, Mayu's phone began to vibrate. She hastily switched it off. So far as she was concerned nothing in the world was more important than breaking bread with the man she adored. As she took the first bite, her heart was full of joy at being able to sit and eat with Hatori. And for a whole moment, all was more or less perfect in her little world.

Then the spices kicked in.

COUGH! she spluttered out several coughs and quickly reached for the water. Hatori blushed slightly. "Too spicy?"

"No-no!" she blurted out, lying. "No not spicy, just…"

"Interesting?"

Mayu looked up and saw the good doctor grin. Heavens, had he just made a joke? Yes! Yes, he had!

"Exactly!" laughed Mayu, "VERY interesting!"

The smell of Kana's little room at the hospital shouldn't have bothered her. After all, she spent enough time in that hospital that she should have been more or less immune to the smell of disinfectant by now. But for reasons she couldn't quite explain, everything about the room was bothering her. From the blue and sterile looking sheets sheets, to the patient voice of her doctor, to the concerned fussing of her husband.

Couldn't they just leave her alone?

You were very lucky, Mikage-kun." Dr Tsukino spoke softly as he finished his final exam on a very pale and shaken Kana. "I don't need to tell you how easily you could have been killed."

Kana could only nod, she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and find that the whole affair had been nothing more than a dream. Sometimes, when she'd dreamed about Hatori over the last few years, that was all she had thought them to be; dreams. Now she knew the truth.

They hadn't been dreams, they'd been memories.

Dr Tsukino finished his exam, and informed a reluctant Kana that he wanted her to stay a couple of nights for observation. Kana would much rather have gone home and buried herself under the covers, but at Keiske's insistence, she heeded the old doctor's request.

"Darling," Keiske whispered, "You should try and get some sleep, it's after ten." Keiske's throat was dry with worry and fatigue, but he fought hard to sound positive. He wouldn't give his darling wife cause for concern, no matter what – her well being was what mattered to him. Above all else.

Kana squeezed the hand that held hers, more out of habit than anything else. And God, she wanted something that felt real and familiar. But not as much as she wanted to forget…

"You should go home Keiske, get some rest. I'm sure you've hardy slept at all."

Reluctantly, Keiske nodded. He would have gladly stood by side all night long, but knew that unless he got some sleep he'd be unable to look after her properly. He stood up and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I contacted your parents, they were still on holiday in Germany but they're catching the first flight out. They should be here by tomorrow. Oh, and I couldn't get through to your friend Mayu so I left a message on her machine. Is there any one else you would like me to call?"

Kana shut her eyes for a moment, thought of Hatori.

Thought of blood.

"No," she muttered. "No, don't worry. I'll see you in the morning, darling. Get some rest."

"Ha ha – Hatori-kun, I don't believe you!" Mayu laughed heartily, as she sat opposite Hatori at the dinner table, unable to remember when she'd felt so giddy. "Shigure really used to dress like a girl?"

Hatori grinned, lighting up his face. "Right up until the age of seven."

Mayu giggled. "Is it wrong that I'm not surprised?"

"No, it's wrong for a fourteen year old boy to get regular manicures."

"Shigure?"

"No, that was Ayame." Hatori tapped his chin. "Come to think of it, I think he still does…"

"Now that, doesn't surprise me!"

"Nothing Ayame does surprises me. That man has more colours than a rainbow."

"He and Shigure were always quite the comedians, no – make that still are." She sipped on some more sake. "The three of you make a good combination."

Hatori tilted his head thoughtfully. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, Ayame is so full of life and charisma, you're so grounded and smart, and Shigure is so…well, perverted and manipulative."

"That about sums us up!" Hatori quipped, but Mayu shook her head.

"No it doesn't, not by a long shot. But what I'm trying to say is…you're good for each other, you bring out the opposing sides in each other, you know? Because he has you in his life, Ayame works to try and be a little more sensible. Because you have Shigure in your life, you tend to think outside the box and see things from a number of angles, and because Shigure has Ayame in his life, he can let loose and play the joker- when deep down he's actually really quite serious."

"Have you met Shigure?" Hatori joked, dryly.

"Met and dated him, to be technical!" Mayu chuckled, remembering. "But yes, actually I think underneath his crass attitude, Shigure is actually rather thoughtful. Bordering on scheming, but still – thoughtful all the same. More than he'd be happy to admit, anyway. He's actually quite a caring soul when he wants to be." Mayu frowned for a second. "But don't tell him I said so!" she warned.

Hatori laughed appreciatively. "Your secret's safe with me."

Mayu's heart was ready to burst. She didn't want the night to end. Yes–she'd nearly died of embarrassment when she'd spilled the bowel of salad because she'd been so caught up in looking at Hatori smile, but then who wouldn't be caught up in his lovely smile.

But that was just it, she realised. She couldn't remember when she'd last seen him smile so warmly or so often. Usually, he looked so…tired. And lonely. But tonight, he looked so happy. And it filled her with more joy than she could bear to think that she had some small part to do with it.

Honestly Mayu, she scolded herself mentally, Don't get so carried away. You have nothing to do with his being so good natured this evening.

"Mayu?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you came over."

She could have sighed with delight. "So am I, Hatori."

When Mayu finally arrived home, just past midnight, she was on top of the world. She had spent the evening in the company of her favourite person and was so full of elation she was sure she might burst. As she had left Hatori's house, he had even invited her to go to lunch with him on Sunday. She had all but screamed the word 'yes', and caught herself just before she managed to ruin things by going to hug him. After all, she didn't want him to think her too keen. She had to try and play it just a little cool, she had told herself.

That was when her heart had practically jumped into her throat. Just when she'd been prepared to turn and leave, Hatori had leaned in kissed her.

Ok, so it was only a quick brush of the lips, and on the cheek! but still, a kiss is a kiss!

After hanging up her jacket, Mayu noticed her answer machine was flashing, and absently pressed the play button.

_Message left at Two am: BEEP _

_Mayu, this is Keiske Mikage- Kana's husband. She's had an accident... we're _

_at the hospital where Kana works. It's not looking good. Please call or get here_

_as soon as you can._

The blood drained from Mayu's face. "Oh my God…"

To be continued…

AN: So, what d'ya think? Review, pretty please?


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the fruits basket characters…sigh, if only I did!

Chapter Three

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Hatori smiled lightly to himself as he began to clear away the remains of his dinner with Mayu. Despite the 'interesting' content of the soup, Mayu had polished her plates with all the determination of an olympic runner.

But then, that was Mayu, he recalled. Always focused, always driven. If there was something she set out to do, she would damn well do it.

Even if that meant choking down some seriously spicy miso.

He was suddenly reminded of a time when he, Kana, Shigure and Mayu had eaten out together at a well known sushi bar. Despite Shigure's not-so-subtly attempts to 'check out' the group of high school girls at the adjacent table, it had been rather a pleasant evening. He and Kana had been together then, and Mayu had just started dating Shigure. The combination had always intrigued Hatori. He was quite certain that Mayu wasn't really all that interested in Shigure (Shigure, of course was interested in anything in a skirt, so that wasn't hard to understand!) yet even still, the two of them would accompany Hatori and Mayu rather frequently. Their double dates had been the source of much amusement – particularly for Kana.

He imagined that was probably why Mayu had dated Shigure; for Kana's sake. Kana had been so close to Mayu, and had often felt bad that in devoting her time to Hatori, she was also neglecting her best fiend just a little. When Mayu began to date Shigure, it eased Kana's conscience considerably, even if she did admit to finding the pair a little baffling!

Hatori smiled again. Mayu was sweet like that, putting up with Shigure's – and indeed his own company – so as not to upset Kana. Kana had always thought so highly of Mayu, and he understood why. She was a good friend.

Only then did it strike him for the first time; she was his friend.

Had he ever had a friend outside of the family? Not unless you counted Kana. A little taken back, Hatori made his way upstairs. As he began to undress for bed, the reality began to set in a little deeper. Mayu was indeed the only person beyond the family who really…knew him. At least, he mused, as well as he would ever permit anyone to know him.

But then again, did she know him? He frowned a little as he lay between the sheets. No, not really – he concluded – not like Shigure or Ayame. Truthfully, even young Tohru-kun probably knew him better. So why did he feel so at ease with her? Why was it so natural to be in her company? Why, even after so long, did it feel so…right to have had her there, in his home –at his table. In his thoughts…

Hatori shook his head as though to shake free of his thoughts. He must have had too much sake at dinner. What was he thinking? Mayu had simply turned up out of concern for an old friend. He had invited her to say out of courtesy. It had been pleasant. Ok, actually- it had been exactly what he needed, but that didn't change the facts.

When all was said and done, despite their history (a history, he reminded himself, that had mainly revolved around Kana) Mayu still didn't really know him. Not fundamentally, not in the way Kana had known him, for instance. After all, Kana had known him as no one in the world knew him. She had accepted his heart and his mind, even as she struggled to understand them sometimes. She had loved him without condition, even knowing his deepest and darkest secrets. That was how close they had been, how well they had known each other.

But Mayu did not know him that way, not by a long shot. She knew nothing of his curse. She knew nothing of the pain he had endured long before he and Kana had even met. She was sweet and thoughtful, but truthfully she had no real idea of the man beneath the lab coat. No idea of what his life was truly like, of the curse he carried and the pain he buried within. She was, and always would be, oblivious to the truth behind Hatori Sohma. She didn't know him, she never would. Never could…

So why, he asked himself, was he suddenly wishing she could?

-----------------

It was well into the early hours of the morning when Mayu reached the hospital. Her mind was in complete turmoil. She had arrived too late to be allowed to see Kana, though she had begged the staff nurse to make an exception. Hospital policy, she'd been informed, only immediate family permitted outside of visiting hours.

They'd been best friends since childhood, surely that made her immediate family? Damn nurse. All she'd been told was that Kana had endured an electric shock, but had pulled through ok. OK? What the hell was that?

Mayu was no doctor, but she was quite certain that people didn't just 'pull through'

an electric freaking shock. There had to be repercussions, grave ones.

But even Mayu couldn't have guessed how grave…

Having resolved not to set foot outside the hospital until she had seen Kana –alive and well – with her own two eyes, Mayu bought herself a rancid tasting cup of coffee from the vending machine, before grabbing whatever out of date magazine happened to be on the table near by.

She was in for a long wait.

As she began to lean back in her chair, Mayu stared blankly at the pages of her magazine. She hadn't a clue what she was reading about. All her thoughts were on Kana.

The back of her head began to feel hot with guilt as she recalled switching off her phone at Hatori's house. Keiske had been trying to reach her then, with news of Kana, and what had she done? Turned her phone off, and happily choked down red hot miso while trying not to stare adoringly at Hatori, like some love-sick puppy dog.

She hung her head in shame. While she had been having the best night of her life, her own best friend had been struck by tragedy.

Stop it! she ordered herself, mentally. Kana is gong to be fine, she's stable, she;s pulling through. There was no way I could have known what that damn phone call was about, and it would have been rude to answer it anyway. I din't do anything wrong.

But of course, guilt didn't listen to reason. Much like love…

As much as she knew better, Mayu couldn't shake the sickly feeling that she had betrayed her best friend.

But then, she hastingly reminded herself, that was nonsense.

Kana is a happily married woman. She doesn't even remember what happened with Hatori. I had every right to be there tonight. I did nothing wrong.

Mayu threw down the magazine, and knocked back the remaining coffee. She refused to do this. Refused to let herself be consumed by a misplaced guilt for what had happened. It was a destructive way of thinking, and she would not give into it.

And after all, where had that gotten Kana?

------------------

Lying back in her sterile-smelling bed, Kana Mikage stared at the low, tiled ceiling above her. How many times had she been in out of this very hospital room? One hundred times? Maybe more? Yet she'd never noticed the ceiling. She studied it now with an attention and focus that she might have employed when diagnosing an emergency patient. She noted every crack and every ship. She counted the tiles. She counted them again. Anything to occupy her weary mind. Anything to keep at bay the memories that had continued to flood and taunt her.

Memories…ofhim.

She tossed and turned, fisting her hands at her sides. Why? Why now? Why after all this time did she have to finally remember? And oh Lord, how well she remembered…

"_Kana, my darling. Forgive me…"_

_His voice had been soothing. He'd held her close, even as her body racked with sobs. Even then, he'd buried his won pain, to deal with hers… _

"_Hatori! Hatori, he hurt you! He hurt you…so badly, and it was my fault! It was all my fault! I;m so sorry…"_

"_It wasn't your fault, my dearest. It was mine. I…had no right, to taint your world with mine…"_

_She hadn't really heard him at the time. Hadn't understood what he was saying. All she had heard, was the sound of glass breaking…over and over again…in her mind._

"_It hurts, Hatori. It hurts…so much, that I hurt you!"_

"_You didn't hurt me, Kana. You gave me more than I could have ever asked. I love you, I will always love you…"_

"_It hurts, Hatori…"_

"_It won't hurt anymore, my love. Not anymore. At least, I will give you…that much…"_

_She hadn't listened, hadn't understood what was happening. She didn't see his tears fall. All she saw, was blood. His blood._

"_Hatori," she had said, "It would have been better if I had never met you…"_

_Not even Akito had caused him as much pain as had Kana's final words...they broke his heart, as surely as they froze it. Still, he held on, determined not to break. Not until after he had granted her peace._

_He placed his hands either side of her head. Even as his fingers trembled, he closed his eyes, and willed her to find peace. Find happiness…find love…even if it wasn't with him._

_And then, it was done._

The tears streamed endlessly now, as Kana fought back the sobs that gathered in her throat. He had robbed her, of her most precious memories – that he might free her of the most painful ones. He had walked away, that she might know love and happiness again, even if it broke his heart to know of it. His heart would carry the burden, so that hers would know peace at last. Wasn't that exactly like the Hatori she had known and loved? Selfless to a fault?

She sighed, so deeply it almost hurt. There were too many memories, too many questions. Yet now, all she could think about was of how much she had loved him. How it had tore her very soul to see him suffer at her fault. How much it had hurt, to know her weakness had brought him such pain.

Yes, Kana had loved Hatori Sohma with all her heart. And she knew he had loved her too, more than anything. He had told her once, that she was like the spring to him. That he would love her always, no matter what. And now, there was one question that burned in her mind, forcing all others far into the background…

Did he love her still? Or had the winter come once more?

----------


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do not won the fruits basket characters. Though I did hear a nasty rumour that they are in fact not real, but fictional...but that can't be true, right! (o-)

Hehe…anyways!

Chapter Four

----------------

"Mayu-chan!"

Mayu's eyes snapped open. It took her a moment to realise she had fallen asleep in hospital waiting room. She stood up and began to straighten out her clothes, nodding to Keiske who was walking towards her now with a look of relief.

"I'm glad you're here," he said – fatigue evident in his voice, "Kana will be pleased to see you.

Keiske had always been an attractive man, but this morning his usually handsome features were marred by worry and lack of sleep. Even his expensive looking suit couldn't hide his obvious exhaustion.

"They said she'd pulled through ok?" Mayu muttered, feeling suddenly useless.

"Yes, she's ok. Very shaken up though." He glanced down at his watch. "It's visiting hours now, let's go see her together."

Mayu noted for the first time, the brief case at his side. He was a lawyer, she remembered. "Are you due in court?"

"Huh? Oh, I was. I pushed it back to this afternoon. Frankly I'd like to cancel. I don't want to leave her, but the Firm is being impossible. They can't seem to understand it's more important for me to be with my wife than be at work right now."

"Damn."

"I'm sorry?"

"Work. I forgot, school – the kids." Mayu glanced at her watch. "Give me two minutes, I just have to ring up and let them know I won't be in today." Absently, Mayu pulled her cell-phone out from her bag, while waving Keiske forward. "You go in ahead, I'll be right behind you."

---------------

"Kana?"

Kana looked over to see her husband – looking rather like he himself had taken 1000 watts through his system – slipping into the chair beside her hospital bed. Had she not been so emotionally exhausted, she might have smiled.

"Kana, how are you feeling?" He asked gently, taking her hand.

"I feel…" _devastated _"I feel ok, Keiske." She smiled lightly. "You look awful."

Kesike ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Yeah well, it's not every day your wife decides to frighten the life out of you." He tried to laugh, but didn't succeed. "Kana…"

"Yes?"

Keiske sighed. He wanted to say that the last twelve hours had been the most terrifying of his life. That for one very harrowing night he had understood for the first time just how much it'd tear his soul apart to ever have to lose her. And that all he wanted to do for the rest of his life was hold her close…keep her safe…but instead he said: "I'm glad you're ok."

They sat in uncharacteristic silence for a moment, before Mayu knocked sheepishly at the open door.

"Can I come in?"

Kana nodded, smiling for Mayu's sake. "Of course, Mayu. It's good to see you."

Mayu stood by the bed, feeling a little awkward, though she couldn't pin point why.

Keiske, excused himself, explaining that he needed to quickly make a call to the office. Mayu slipped quietly into the chair he had now vacated. She smiled, absently.

"It's been a while since we've talked, just the two of us." Mayu began. "I wish it were under better circumstances."

Kana didn't appear to listen. Mayu cleared her throat tentatively.

"It doesn't…you aren't hurting are you, Kana?"

_"It hurts, Hatori…"_

"Kana?"

"Huh?" Kana blinked once, twice. She realised Mayu was talking to her, more concerned now, for her not answering. "Yes." She muttered. "Sorry, what were you saying, Mayu?"

"It…it doesn't matter." Mayu glanced at her watch. _The children would be gathering together for their first class right about now…_

----------------

"Baka-neko!"

"Dumb cat!"

"Damn rat!"

"Ano – Kyo-kun! Yuki-kun!" gasped a very nervous looking Tohru, as the two volatile teens began to (yet again) test their strength on each other as they walked home from School. "Please, don't fight – I'm sure Hatsuharu-kun was just kidding before, when he had said you two act like an old married couple!"

The two boys stared on at a now sweetly smiling –and ever-blushing – Tohru-kun, before promptly pulling away from each other.

"Gomenesai, Honda-san." Apologised Yuki.

"The damn rat started it!" snapped Kyo, before sighing at Tohru's dismayed expression. "Fine, fine, we're both sorry," he muttered, "We won't fight anymore…for now."

This seemed to placate the sparkling eyed girl. "I'm glad." She gushed. "Ah no, Shigure-san will be so surprised to see us home this early form school, ne?"

Upon gathering in their classroom, the students had been informed that Sensei-Mayu had been unavoidably detained, and would therefore not be into school. The news that they were free to leave for the day was met by a chorus of delighted high-schoolers.

Walking leisurely through the woods, just past the Sohma compound en route to Shigure's house, the three teens couldn't help but feel relieved at this unexpected little holiday. With finals around the corner, everyone had been working so hard lately, and it was nice to have some breathing room.

"Ah, no!"

"What is it, Honda-san?" Yuki remarked, at the sudden word of concern from the young girl next to him.

"Hatori-san was supposed to meet you at school today, for your regular check up! Don't you remember, he was going to drop by during lunch so as not to impede our study time after school?"

Yuuki glanced at his watch. "I'd forgotten. Still, it doesn't matter Honda-san." Yuuki smiled, "We're right next to the Sohma compound anyway, we'll just stop by Hatori's house now – ok?"

Tohru nodded enthusiastically. "Hai! Yes!"

Kyo rolled his eyes. "You two carry on…I'm gonna head home."

"You won't come with us, Kyo-kun?" Tohru asked innocently.

"No! I have work to do." Kyo barked…then turned a funny shade of red.

Yuuki sighed. "You're afraid you'll run into Kagara, aren't you?"

"WELL YOU'D BE AFRAID TOO, IF SHE BROKE ONE OF YOUR RIBS EVERYTIME SHE SAW YOU!"

Yuki chuckled. "Afraid of a girl. You really are a fool, stupid cat."

"DAMN RAT!"

--------------

Akito winced slightly as Hatori performed a regular blood test on the frail head of the Sohmas. "Damn fool, why can't you be more gentle!"

Hatori didn't miss a beat. He was well used to Akito's complaining by now. He could dismiss Akito's frosty demeanour even as he feared it. It was a skill all cursed members of the zodiac were wise to develop.

"That's it, for now Akito-san." Hatori stood up. "Rest for now, I'll be back this evening."

"Damn idiot." Akito muttered. Hatori didn't respond, as Akito knew he wouldn't. Instead he gathered his medical supplies and drifted away towards his own home.

Hatori was not twenty feet away from his door when he spotted Yuki and Tohru walking towards him.

"Yuki, are you ill? Why aren't you in school?"

"I'm fine." Yuki assured his older cousin.

"Then why…"

"Mayu-sensei was absent, so they sent us home early."

Hatori nodded absently in response. "I…I see…"

Tohru and Yuki stole a quick glance at each other. Why was Hatori acting so vague?

"Did they say why she wouldn't be in?"

"Huh? Oh, no. Just that she'd probably be back on Monday." Yuki shrugged his shoulders. "Probably has a stomach bug or something."

"I see…" Hatori began to fidget now.

Once again Tohru and Yuki glanced at each other in curiosity.

"Ah no, Hatori-san…"

"Excuse me, I have to run an errand." Hatori apologised, before dashing past the two bewildered teens.

"Um, but…"

But it was too late. Hatori had already nipped into his car and pulled away. Tohru merely stood there, quietly dazed, while Yuki shrugged his shoulders one more time, in mild –albeit baffled- relief.

"Guess my check-up just got rescheduled."

---------------

Mayu drove home from the hospital feeling rather confused, and more than a little exhausted. She had sat a while with Kana, talking about nothing in particular, while Keiske had been on the phone – successfully managing to reshedhule his court case for a later date. He had been so relieved, Mayu remembered, so glad to be able to spend the extra time with Kana.

But Kana had barely acknowledged it, thought Mayu. She'd smiled a little, but had said nothing. And Mayu was quite certain that Kana had barely heard a word that either Mayu or Keiske had spoken to her in all the while she'd been there. Finally, because for some reason she'd started to feel that her presence was actually more of a burden to Kana than a comfort, Mayu had excused herself –promising to return that night before visiting hours were over.

There'd been no point in going to school at that point, as Mayu was certain that, in her absence, the kids would have long been dismissed by now. It was best to just go home, catch up on some sleep, grab a shower, and then return to the hospital that night after Kana had had some time to rest.

That was all Kana needed, Mayu tried to reassure herself; some rest. She was bound to be exhausted after her ordeal. Surely by the evening she'd be bouncing back to her old, smiling self again – and no doubt scold Mayu for her needless concern to begin with. Yes, thought Mayu, there was no need to worry. How could Kana not have been dazed, she'd endured an electric shock – it was only natural she act so…out of it. But she'd be fine, there was no need to worry.

But something about her visit with Kana still played on Mayu's mind. It was the way Kana had acted – what she'd said just as Mayu was taking her leave…

"_Mayu!"_

_Kana grabbed Mayu's hand just as she was gathering her things, ready to leave. Mayu looked up for Keiske,a little concerned, but he was still outside on his cell phone._

"_Yes Kana?"_

"_Mayu…please don't tell Hatori…kun, about…about my accident."_

_Mayu tilted her head in curiosity. "Why?"_

_Kana smiled blankly, fidgeting with her hands as she spoke. "It's just…well, it was such a silly thing for me to do and…and I wouldn't want my former mentor to think me a fool. You understand, right?"_

_Mayu stared at Kana a few moments, not understanding why it was that she felt so uneasy. Finally she nodded. "Of course Kana, I understand. Your secret's safe with me."_

_Kana had all but cried with relief. "Thank you Mayu. I can always count on you."_

Now, as she turned into her driveway, Mayu instructed herself to let it go for now. While Kana had no idea about her past with Hatori, it was –Mayu considered – natural for Kana not to want to leave a negative impression of herself on her former teacher. It was after all Hatori who had taught Kana much of her Medicine studies. And It wasn't as though Kana hadn't didn't remember having had a crush on Hatori, reasoned Mayu. And most women, if they were truly honest, wouldn't want a former teacher and one time crush to know just how careless said woman had been, least of all a teacher as good looking as…

"Hatori?" Mayu muttered to herself, as she saw the good doctor sat waiting for her on her own front porch. In a flash, Mayu jumped out of her car. "What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.

Hatori began to fumble a little. "I…Yuki said you weren't at school today. I was worried…"

Mayu could have danced. "You…were worried…about…me?" she all but whispered.

"Yes," he confessed, "I…I was afraid it might be…food poisoning."

"Food poisoning?"

"Yes," he muttered, "You know…from…all the spices?"

Mayu stared blankly at the handsome physician in front of her…before throwing her head back in laughter.

"Oh Hatori!" she laughed, wiping away tears, "But don't you remember? It wasn't spicy, it was…"

"Oh yes!"

Mayu glanced up as he interrupted her, and saw a mischievous smile playing upon his lips.

"I forgot," he continued, "Not spicy; interesting."

Mayu could only nod. "Yes," she grinned, "exactly!"

------------------

To be continued…

AN: Please R&R, mkay?


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